Desolate Hearts
by eremiticAntiquarian
Summary: someone is keeping tabs on the pilots.. who could it be? read and find out! *shonen ai* *minor swearing*
1. Prologue

Pluto: Bringing out the muses... *sigh*

Charon: I'M FREE! I'M FREE!!

Neptune: baka...

Pluto: I expect you two to behave AND for all of you *points to readers* to review this introspective view on the Gundam pilots. Criticism is appreciated because I like to know what I didn't do right in the fic or something like that.

Neptune: ....... *cough* .......

Charon: It's my turn! *clears throat* PLUTO DOESN'T OWN US! JUST THE IDEAS FROM HER HEAD ARE HER'S AND A FEW RANDOM ACTION FIGURES, COMICS, DVDs, AND NOTEBOOKS! Thank you!

P+N: *ears bleeding*

Pluto: This is someone's POV... you'll see in the end. Contains Shounen ai.

  
  
  
  
**|||||Desolate Hearts|||||** _(Prologue)_

  
  
I watch them, those Gundam pilots. I can see their pain and the reasons why they fight. They are so brave, I wish to be like that someday, brave. Some people might say I am but I am nothing compared to those boys. I am shit compared to them. I know I've done my research on them. I know them all so well people could say we grew up together. But really, they are still forever going to be a mystery to me.

I reach for the radio and turn on my favorite station. Lucky for me, on of my favorite songs is on. I flop back down to my bed, pull out my notebook and begin writing. I write everything I can about them, everything I know. It isn't much but I think I've fallen in love with those boys, not in the lovey dovey way, but you get the point... I hope. Although, there is on in particular I could possibly be in love with. I wish I never had any emotions at all. This would be so much easier.

Those boys, the pilots, they have all had some troubling background. It all is filled with deceit, betrayal, and mostly... death. Thinking about them, I cry. My life has been no better in anyway though. It has been most likely worse. I just seem to deal with it, or hide it, better than them. So much pain, so much suffering in my life. I don't think people really understand me at all. I mean, how could they.

Heero Yuy, my biggest mystery. Oh how I love thee, Heero. You don't even notice me though. I'm always here, just turn your head away from that laptop of yours. I'm always watching you, whether you like it or not. Oh hell! Now, when you read this, you'll probably think I am stalking you or something! Truth is, I'm not. I just think that... I love you, my stoic Heero.

Oh enough about that! The real reason I am writing this is to give my introspective point of view on the Gundam pilots. Yeah, Yeah, you all probably think I am insane as you read this. But aren't you interested in knowing just how I feel about you? Or maybe why I am the way I am. That WILL come up somewhere! 

For now I think that my little notebook here will suit me well enough for writing down my view points on everything. I may have to get a few more out of my box but that is okay. I am obsessed, weird, and completely insane. Just to warn you all. 

As I start writing this cold feeling sweeps over me. Somehow this is going to backfire. One of them is going to read it and not like what they see, then come after me. But you know what? I don't care... COME KILL ME! Or maybe its possible that Heero feels the same about me. I laugh at my stupidness. Yeah, like that could ever happen.

I am going to start with the Gundam pilot that no one seems to recognize as one of those boys. But he is, he pilots a Gundam, not one of the five, but still a Gundam pilot. My pen scratches the paper in rhythm to the music and I begin humming and singing along. Suiting enough it seems to fit Zechs well, or should I say Milliardo Peacecraft?

  
  
  
  
Pluto: OK, so that was a sucky prologue. And you won't know who is speaking until the VERY last chapter, gomen. But please keep reading and write a few good/bad/critical reviews for me to go with!!

Charon: *pats Pluto's head* It'll be alright...

Neptune: ...................


	2. Zechs

Pluto: So you read the prologue and you're interested in more, ne? Well good! 'Cuz now you're gonna get it! Hehehe!!!

Neptune: You scare me...

Charon: *blink, blink*

  
  
  
**|||||Desolate Hearts|||||** _(Chapter 1: Zechs)_

  
  
  
  
**--- Once I had my heroes  
Once I had my dreams  
But all of that is changed now  
The truth begins again  
The truth is not that comfortable, no  
Mother taught us patience  
The virtues of restraint  
Father taught us boundaries  
The knowledge we must go  
I'm trying to protect my unity**

That's when I reach for my revolver  
That's when it all gets blown away  
That's when I reach for my revolver  
The spirit passes by this way

A friend of mine once told me  
His one and only aim  
To build a giant castle  
And in it sign his name  
Sign it with complete community

That's when I reach for my revolver  
That's when it all gets blown away  
That's when I reach for my revolver  
The spirit passes by this way

Now that the sky is empty  
And that is nothing new  
Instead they look upon us  
When they tell me  
That we're nothing  
I say!

That's when I reach for my revolver  
That's when it all gets blown away  
That's when I reach for my revolver  
The spirit passes by this way

That's when I reach for my revolver  
That's when it all gets blown away  
That's when I reach for my revolver   
The spirit passes by this way ---

Moby - Revolver

  
  
Zechs, Zechs, Zechs. What else can I say about him. His past is widely known to all. Heir to the throne of the Sanc Kingdom, former member of OZ, former leader of White Fang, active member of the Preventers. Beloved brother and boyfriend, he's a friend to some, enemy to others. Zechs is most likely a very troubled man deep within. He doesn't know what he TRULY wants. 

When he was still a very young boy, his Kingdom was attacked. Everyone believed that there were no surviors other than Relena and Milliardo. His little sister knew nothing of him or their heritage. It must have hurt him to know that he would be seen as foul in her eyes.

Pacifism was what he grew up with, but revenge took over his life. Soon he fell into darkness but got revenge. He then learned revenge wasn't enough, he had grown accustomed to fighting and killing. There was no way he could go back and claim his throne. He had to live in exile.

Over time, a new group found him after leaving OZ. They called themselves 'White Fang' and appointed Zechs their leader. Really, he couldn't help himself. He had grown up fighting and loved the thrill of it. He accepted with no problems or second thoughts.

That is until the final battle, that battle decided it all. He suddenly realized all his mistakes and tried to make it up to everyone. He almost killed himself, in fact we all thought he did. He couldn't show his face in public, he was ashamed of himself.

Then Marimeia showed up. That infuriated him because he knew Treize better than anyone. She claimed that she was doing what her father had wanted but she was just brainwashed into believing so. Treize was a good man and hated death. I still don't understand him. He hated war, yet created the Gundam Epyon for Zechs. Sure he gave it to Heero, but it was intended for Zechs with no doubt.

Zechs was a great man, I don't believe they could have defeated Marimeia without him and the universe would be in great peril if he never had existed. Zechs is a great man inside, he is just used and hurt and confused. I think that Noin is a great friend to him on Mars. She keeps his feet on the ground, but no matter what, he'll always love Treize more. Always.

  
  
I sit up and prop my back up against a few pillows. I sigh. One down, five more to go still. I can't think of who to write about next. I know who I am going to write about last though, that'll wait. 

I take a sip out of my Dr. Pepper can and play with my hair. I take in a deep breath and try to concentrate. I note to myself that it is 3 am and I should try to sleep. That won't happen though, too much to write about still. 

I flip through radio stations and stop at an interesting one. The song they are playing reminds me of a certain pilot. I now know who to write about next. I bring my knees up and use them as a table for writing on. My hand writes the words smoothly and softly. I fall into a deep trance, like always when I am writing.

  
  
Pluto: So there's that chapter. I swear the next ones will be much better. It's just complicated. The writer isn't really interested in Zechs that much so he has no need to write too deeply into him. 

Neptune: ...

Charon: No clues on the writer either! Have you figured it out yet? *laughs*

Pluto: *sigh* I'm so evil... Until next time my loyal readers! *chuckles*


	3. Quatre

Pluto: Woo for chapter 2!

Neptune: ...

Charon: Can I tell 'em all who is writing yet?

Pluto: NO! I have 4 more chapters after this, they are short, and the people can wait!

  
  
**|||Desolate Hearts|||** (Ch2: Quatre Winner)

  
  
**--- I had a dream, a crazy vision   
It may sound strange, this intuition   
But it was true beyond description   
And somehow I knew that it was real   
When I saw **

One sky above, there is just one source of love   
If I've got one chance, one choice   
I'll sing it from the heart   
One song, one voice 

I've seen the fires of deep division   
The hearts of stone, the cold ambition   
But I have found my sacred mission   
To live in this world and still believe   
That there is 

One sky above, there is just one source of love   
If I've got one chance, one choice   
I'll sing it from the heart   
One song, one voice 

A song that heals   
A melody of reason and freedom   
With words that will speak for the weak  
The hopeful and the strong   
Sing is for everyone 

Cause there is one sky above   
There is just one source of love   
If I've got one chance, one choice   
I'll sing it from the heart   
One song, one voice 

Yes there is only one sky above  
One source of love   
If I got one chance, one choice   
So sing it from the heart   
One song, one voice 

Sing it with one song   
One voice ---

Brandy - One Voice

  
  
Quatre Reberba Winner, head of Winner Inc. and powerful colony representative. He is the proclaimed leader of the five boys. He is well fit for it too. Out of all the pilots, minus Zechs, he is the only one who really thinks things through and processes everything before jumping into battle. Born leader.

He fights, yet is still so pure and so kind. I can't for the life of my figure out how he is still so gentle after all the battles and bloodshed. He can pull it off pretty well. Not like the rest of the pilots. After killing people, Quatre can sit down with a cup of tea and laugh it up.

I remember how determined he was during the wars. I can recall him once saying something like 'War brings sorrow, but we must fight to keep our loved ones from sorrow.' I didn't think something so heart touching could come out of a soldier, until then. When he got in Sandrock, he was still the same caring person, unlike some people. Me....

During the wars, he believed in total unity, I think he still does. I pretty much agree with that, although I am sort of a loner. People may know me worldwide, but I stick to the shadows. That's the exact opposite of Quatre. He is in the headliners and all over colony meetings and Earth meetings. A while back, I overheard Quatre telling Trowa all about his past. There are some things the public doesn't even know about him. Quatre isn't a test tube baby as previously thought, his mother died giving birth to him. How he found out that he wasn't like his sisters, I don't know. 

Quatre is the youngest of thirty children, the only boy out of that. I couldn't stand it! He is defiantly a very strong person to put up with that many girls all over that place. I think I would defiantly go insane with all of them. 

When Quatre was young, he was kidnapped yet he couldn't care less if he died then or not because he believed himself to be artificial. That is when he had his first run-in with the Magunac Corps. From that day on, he actually started valuing life. It surprises me to believe Quatre was once a spoiled brat who hated everything including himself. Quatre has evolved, if you will, from when he was little. 

With as many sisters he had, no one was surprised he turned out the way he did. I don't only mean personality either. It is a universally known fact that Quatre has a boyfriend. It makes me so jealous, too. Because I cannot have the one I love. Trowa is a very lucky guy to have someone like Quatre. Their relationship is filled with rockiness. When they first met, they were fighting each other. Then Quatre went insane a bit, and almost killed Trowa and took away his memory. Trowa was ready to sacrifice himself for his lover. I wonder if Heero would do that for me. Ack! I am wandering. Anyway, in the very end, they will most likely always be together.

What else can I say about Quatre? He's had his run-ins with death, his mother, sister, and father. I guess you'd say he's an orphan then? I dunno. That blond nutcase is probably the only one in the whole group who I can talk to without fearing being judged. Quatre is the only one who I could even come close to calling a best friend. Sure, the others are my friends, but not like him. He's special.

  
  
Charon: Can I tell 'em? Can I tell 'em?

Saturn: *comes out of no where with a spoon and whaps Charon unconcious. Then, dissapears into the abyss from which he came*

Neptune: *drools in the direction from where Saturn came and went*

Pluto: Eh.. N-chan, just tell the damn boy you want his ass!

Charon: Pluto-sama? @_@ Neptune-kun likes boys?!

Pluto: Well.. um.. of coarse!

Neptune: *crawls away into a dark corner* Now that overly hyper female satallite of yours will never leave me alone, Pluto-sama!

_*silence, crickets chirp*_

Charon: THAT IS SO COOL!!!!! *chases after Neptune and glomps him*

Pluto: What have I done?! 


End file.
